First off...Thank you Lord for answering my prayers and the prayers of my friends and family. I thought going through cancer was scary...I was wrong. The fight is simply that...a fight. It keeps you busy...it keeps you focused...you have a purpose and a goal. This....this stage that I'm at....this "survivorship" is hard. Emotionally it stinks. I have never been so unsure and worried in my life. This is my life now. This is what I have to look forward to in the months and years to come. I have successfully made it through this scan. I am beyond thankful. It potentially had the recipe for a major disaster! Andrew was leaving town Friday, which happened to be the day I would get my results. If I had bad results it would have been a horrible weekend. I also just started a new job and as in the past, I tend to start new jobs and have to quit because something "cancer" related happens. I can happily say this is not the case! I also have a house full of kiddos that need me! I'm sorry cancer...I don't have time for you right now. STAY AWAY!!!!!
So what has been going on with me???? Like I said I have a house full of kiddos! My boys are doing great! Growing like weeds! We really can no longer refer to them as "big" head and "little" head, since "little" head has now caught up with his much larger noggined foster brother! I love them completely!!!! Charly, my rotten and oh so adorable 4 year old, is definitely the sun to my shine. I could not be more in love with this little girl. And now for the icing on the cake..... I have accumulated a TEENAGER!!!!! Yes....I do believe the chemo has affected my brain. But, this beautiful 14 year old has completed our family and made things interesting. We have been able to do things we normally would not be doing....like enrolling in high school and going to freshman orientation, and school supply shopping that actually requires school supplies and not snacks, wet wipes and kleenex! So we have quickly gone from a family of 3 to a wonderful crowd of 6! Our home is crazy and we love it. My refrigerator now is covered in dry erase boards for schedules, lists, chores, etc! It is fun. It is hard work. But....it is worth it! I love them all and couldn't be happier and more content to share my home with these wonderful little monsters!
So...yeah....I really don't have time to worry about cancer these days. (at least not my own!) I do pray and think about my "cancer" friends (and I'm sad to say I have quite a few) and when they hurt, I hurt, and when they get good news, I get good news. I really feel my calling was to go through this battle to be there for others. I honestly don't go through the day without thinking about and praying for Robyn B., Chris, Caryn, Jenna, Heidi, Ethan, Kori, Chuck, and this is just to name a few.....! I wish they weren't on this cancer road, but these incredible people will kick cancer arse!
I really intended to write more, but wouldn't you know....I have someone needing me! I am happy to change diapers, wipe butts, do laundry, make meals, go shopping, clean the house....and when I think about how sometimes I just want to sit down and SLEEP...I go back to my chemo times and how that was all I did. I don't want to do that again. Life is too short! Enjoy it. Live it. Share it. LOVE IT!
