almost like Christmas...

I have never been this excited before. Well...it has been a long time! In 2 days we are leaving for our first camping trip with Charly! When we got her, we sold our boat and our camper knowing we wouldn't be camping at least for the first year or so...looking back now, we could have...we should have! Last year I missed out on a full year of camping! It was awful! This year will be different. We have bought another boat (Andrew's toy) and most recently we replaced our missing camper with a bigger, nicer, newer one, and I am so excited to use it! Charly is excited too! She has not stopped talking about camping! We bought her a pink fishing pole and she has been practicing! The girl has got it down. She will out fish us all...I promise you that! I'm pretty sure life could not get much better than this!

I'm looking forward to the nice weather, the lake, sitting by the fire, and enjoying my family!!! Pictures to come!

the way it feels....

There have been a few mornings that I sit either on the front porch, or in my livingroom looking out the big window into my front yard and admire my beautiful red bud tree, and I think to myself...It feels good to feel good. You really don't know how good you feel, until the only way you feel is bad. I am over joyed that I am getting back to "normal" and feeling good. It almost makes my last year a big blur to me...something I would like to forget, and then again, something I want to remember. I don't want to go back to last year for anything, but it has definitely opened my eyes to an entirely new life for me. I sit and think about amazing things. I realize just how special life is. I feel good.

Time just keeps on going...I had my 3 month cancer free check up. My appointment was good. My CT Scan came back good. My labs are good. I got the all clear to remove my port, and that couldn't make me happier! (Now I just have to schedule that!) The next thing I get to look forward to is my yearly colonoscopy...oh joy! This time around I will go into it with a smile on my face and grateful!!! I won't be going number 2 in a bag, and that is a huge, HUGE, HUGE relief to me. (sorry if that was a little too much info for you!)

Although I thought I was ready to get back to working full time, I have decided to be kind to myself. I feel like I missed out on last year with my baby, and I have opted to stay home with her and enjoy her a little longer! We are becoming "best friends" and I am thoroughly loving every minute of being around her. She tests me, and keeps me on my toes. I have definitely been blessed with a hand full!

Sorry my updates have not been as frequent. Life is definitely great at the moment, and I and soaking it all in. It just feels good to feel good!

quick update...

Going to the oncologist is never fun. I hate being surrounded by cancer patients and sick people, some of which are dying. It is just plain uncomfortable. Nobody likes being around sick people...not even sick people! Really, nobody wants to be surrounded by cancer patients either...not even cancer patients. It is just not my idea of fun. I sit there thinking about how they are feeling and what must be going through their heads...because probably at one time I was feeling the same way, or thinking the same thoughts. My heart literally aches for them. My mom thinks I should be an oncology nurse...I disagree. I do however feel that all oncology nurses and physicians should go through a round of chemo...whether they need it or not...heck, it could be beneficial and preventative as well as teach them a thing or two about what chemo is really like...about what CANCER is REALLY like. It down right sucks. Every time I go back to the oncologist I see a new young person and my heart breaks a little more. It is heart wrenching to watch a young couple console eachother before a chemo treatment. I get to witness this. It's rough. Be thankful if you have never had a close relationship with cancer...it's no walk in the park.

So...I went in Friday for my scan. CT Scans are not my friend. I am not a fan of barium, although I can't complain. The last two CT Scans I got, came with a lovely surprise...barium enema. NO THANK YOU! Thank goodness my doctor here doesn't do that. It is just rather unpleasant and humiliating. So this time I gladly drank my barium, knowing there would be no surprise waiting for me.

I did the regular weigh in (worst part of the visit!) and sat down to get my port accessed. HURT LIKE HELL...I'll definitely be thankful when that sucker is out. My blood was drawn for routine labs and then my visit with the doctor...

She is such a great doctor and listens to me and is very compassionate. I am thankful I found her. I did not learn much from this visit and she wants to see me back on Friday for the results of my CT Scan. She also ordered an MRI for my leg pain. Probably a torn meniscus, but we're checking for sure. Nothing to fix the neuropathy in my hands and feet at this time, as it comes and goes, except your regular old IBUPROFIN.

All in all, the day was ok and went rather smoothly. I will update after my appointment on Friday!