a week ago today...

A week ago today I was trying to poop. A week ago today was very different than today. A week ago today I didn't know I had cancer, and I was ok with that. A week ago today I was a different person. Today, things are different. Things are complicated. Things are life changing.

I am a 32 year old mother of an adopted almost 2 year old daughter. You wouldn't be able to tell she was adopted, and I am quick to tell people she is. It is something I am extremely proud of. I suffered for quite some time to be able to say Ihave a daughter and it pleases me to no end that she is adopted and the love of my life. That suffering was worth it. I ended up with her. I ended up happy. I ended up content. I ended up whole.

I am a 32 year old mother of an adopted almost 2 year old daughter and a week ago I found out I have cancer. I would like to say I "had" cancer, and the horrific surgery I went through removed it all, but at this point, I have to say I "have" cancer. This is a fact I have not grasped yet. It will take some time.

I have a friend that has asked me to blog. My first thought was that people who blog about cancer die. I don't want to die. Remember, I have a daughter that I fought hard for...I can't die yet. So I thought about it and decided...it would be good to blog about it. First, it would get some things off my chest. Second, it would let people know how I am and give them some kind of an idea what I am going through. Lastly, it will bring prayers my way, and I can use all the prayers I can get.

I have to warn whoever reads this... I am not a writer. These are my thoughts. They come with errors and need some editting, but this is it... raw.

So... I will get to the story of how this happened, but tonight, I start the blog with a quote that a friend wrote me in a note today that will probably be the theme to my life while I am going through this. TODAY IS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY, BUT TOMORROW WILL BE EVEN BETTER.

today i smiled when i saw my husband sing a song while my daughter danced to it.
today i smiled when my daughter said "mommy, i love you".

Today was a good day, but tomorrow will be even better.