In the midst...

I'm in the middle of my good week. It feels great. I haven't written in awhile because I have been feeling pretty good, had a case of writters block (which I really haven't come out of, so this may be pretty boring), and to top things off we are throwing in a sale of our home, a move and a possible purchase of a new home...all in the next few weeks. Yeah...we like to keep things interesting. There is no time like now to do what you want! :) We have wanted to sell our home since we moved. It just never felt like home to us, and of course we fought so hard to keep it not a home since we dearly loved everything Jefferson City did for us. Our friends, Our home, Our jobs...OUR LIFE! But...we have come to accept that we are here for awhile and we need to find a "home" that we both enjoy... and we may have done that. :) Fingers and toes crossed and of course prayers that things go the way they are suppose to. Of course we know it is not our way...but God's way...and of course He sometimes has other plans for our life. He has made that quite clear to me. :) My counts have been great and this regimen of chemo is much kinder to me. There is a 20% chance that I will not loose all my hair but only have a thinning...and so far I may be headed down that road. I really didn't want to write about my hair loss because I fear that the minute I do, I've jinxed myself. I was never a superstitious person until I got cancer...now I have to think about every move I make. I won't be ringing the bell at the infusion center when I'm done with this round of 12 treatments to signify that I am done. I will also live the rest of my life with this port. There are just some things that I will do different. Did ringing the bell or taking out my port cause my cancer to come back? I'm a fairly smart person and logically I have to say NO they didn't...but then of course...YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I LEFT THE PORT IN OR DIDN'T RING THE BELL. Now everything is a hesitation. I don't want to talk about my hair loss. I will tell you...I am blessed with a very thick head of hair. It is shedding like crazy...but I still have it. I'm hoping to hold on to it. You will know if I loose it. The End. Besides all the sleeping I do during my chemo week, I am actually getting by pretty well. My mom says I sleep for 50 minutes out of every hour and I amaze myself that I can do that all day long and then go to bed at 7 and sleep till 7 am. It is unbelievable how fatigued you are on chemo. My daughter told my husband one day when he came home from work when he asked her what she did all day and her response was "Mom slept on the fricken couch all day". I am thankful that she has my mom and dad to hang with her while I sleep. It makes her day much better and mine too. It is really good to be here and be so close to our family. I just couldn't get by without them. I have learned that I will not be taking that extra chemo. I was fairly certain that I should be getting it based on my results, hours of research on my part and the fact that I hadn't seen my doctor in the last 2 appointment and wasn't getting the extra chemo was driving me crazy. NOBODY was listening to me. NOBODY! Finally I was prepared to call my Dr up and find out on my own what the heck was going on. I was infact correct that I should be getting it...IF and ONLY IF the tumor on my liver needed to be shrunk or could not be removed. The tumor on my liver is small and can be removed, ultimately declaring me cancer free. The chemo I am taking now (4-6 rounds) prior to my surgery and the chemo after my surgery (6-8 rounds for a total of 12) is once again being used as a preventative chemo to keep this from reoccuring. I did discuss with my doctor that I would prefer to do the 6 treatments and then have surgery, so that I can go through the Christmas holiday off of chemo and have surgery around the second week of January. She wanted me to have my surgery after this next chemo treatment, which will be chemo number 4. I have an appointment this Friday to have labs drawn and meet with my doctor to discuss what the plan will be. I will keep you informed. I told you this would be a boring post. I don't really have any good juicy details to report. I have dealt with a few mouth sores and had some nose bleeds and sores in my nose, but besides that and all the sleeping, I have been able to keep from being too sick. It has been pretty nice. I didn't even cry last week during my chemo week, and that is a change. It was nice. I continue to have so much love and support around me and friends and family constantly holding me up and carrying me through this battle. I couldn't do it without you! Love you all!