What is that you say????

If I'm not writing about good news, I'm writing about bad news.  Today I had an appointment with an audiologist.  My hearing has been bad.  It has been determined that the Oxaliplatin I was on with my first round of Chemo caused Ototoxicity and it was confirmed today that I have significant permanent hearing loss in both ears!  To put a number on it would look like 50 percent hearing loss.  The good news is that I ordered hearing aids today....I was thrilled to do so and did it almost immediately after they put them in my hears to give me an idea of what I would be experiencing using hearing aids....they were amazing.... like night and day....I was sold on them...even to the tune of 4090.00 out of pocket expense (and that is after my insurance covers 2500.00).  WOWSA!  Good thing I found out after Christmas, because my husband would not have surprised me with the most amazing dining room table (I picked out) if he knew he would be forking out some big moola for hearing aids.  So, even though I am only 34 years young and SHOULD NOT BE DEALING WITH THIS....I am actually pretty excited to hear again.  I recently went to a movie with Andrew and probably didn't hear half of what the movie said.  January 7th I will get my new ears. 

Ten days after I get my new ears I will be heading into surgery for my liver resection.  My surgery has been scheduled for January 17th at 8 am.  I am to be there at 615.  PLEASE write it down on your calendar to remember to say a quick prayer for me.  I am looking forward to getting rid of this cancer, but not looking forward to surgery and healing....it is just a pain in the butt.  I am however VERY excited that I am done with my chemo for a little while.  I needed a break in a bad way.  It was wearing on me and this last round really hit me hard.  I spent an entire week in the same outfit laying in the same position on the same couch.  When I did decide I needed a shower and a change of clothes on the 4th day I hopped in the shower and the shear energy it took to wash my hair combined with the heat of the shower made me sick.  So sick I couldn't finish bathing and got out of the shower vomiting and sicker than a dog.  I then decided another day of filth would be ok.  I did however manage to shower finally, change clothes and was on the road to recovery.  My Christmas was wonderful and I felt 60% well....the only real pain was from the horrific mouth sores I got and am still dealing with.  It however does not stop me from eating (even with the pain)....so really it isn't that bad.  Although tonight I did not partake in the chips and salsa at the mexican restaurant due to the pain.  Life goes on and every day is a little better than the day before.  I am so glad I will get a break from the chemo and even the recovery from surgery will be a piece of cake (I hope).  I will have 6 more rounds of chemo after my surgery and was suppose to have an added chemo which I am considering not taking since there is no known benefit to taking it.  I am just tired of chemo.  For those that are on a maintenance chemo for life I feel your pain and struggle and pray for you!  It is something that I wish upon noone!

So...I'm on the road to recovery and feeling pretty good.  I have been blessed with some amazing friends that continue to support me with positive energy and amazing surprises that keep me going.  It just helps to know that I am thought of and loved and I couldn't be more blessed.  This cancer stuff has really opened my eyes and my heart and changed me forever.  I have another appointment this Friday with the surgeon.  I'm not expecting to find anything out I didn't already know, and consider it more of a "lets just meet one last time before I slice you open and work on your liver" kind of appointment.  If I find anything out I will inform.  Until then...not sure how much I will be writing, as I really would rather enjoy my semi good and good days with my daughter and husband and family and friends....Life is so great.  I am thankful I can keep a positive outlook on life amid all this crap.  Thank you for helping me do that! 

57 % ain't to shabby!

Yesterday deserved a blog post!  It was a great day with great news for me.  I went in to St. Lukes in the morning for an MRI of my abdomen and a CT scan of my chest.  I didn't expect to hear anything since I have an appointment to meet with my Oncologist this Friday (tomorrow).  My phone rang at 12:43 pm.  How do I know that?  That is the exact time I had a mini heart attack when I saw that my doctor was calling.  I love her, but I hate to get calls from her...I never know what she is going to tell me.  This time it was good news.  My tumor has shrunk 57% since starting this chemo regimen.  The amazing and miraculous thing is that this chemo is not meant to shrink the tumor but to just keep it from getting larger or growing.  It isn't unheard of to have a tumor shrink on this chemo, but it is not its initial purpose.  I prayed the entire time during my CT scan and MRI for miraculous healing, and I believe that my prayers were answered.  Even though there is still a tumor there, it has shrunk and it can be removed, and I consider that miraculous healing!  Thank you Lord! 
I will meet with my oncologist tomorrow and let you know what the plan is for surgery.  Monday is my last chemo before my liver resection surgery and I could not be more excited!  I am looking forward to 3 weeks off of chemo to enjoy the holidays.  The longer I am on this chemo the harder it is on me.  I am exhausted most of the day and occasionally nauseous mostly due to the horrific taste in my mouth....but I am really doing well!  Again...I couldn't do it without the love, support and prayers from everyone!  Love you all!!!!

We are in the process of house hunting and actually put in an offer on a house yesterday.  Prayers that we get it, so that we can finally get settled into a home we love.  Currently we are staying at my parents house.  For anyone needing an address for Christmas Cards you can email me jen_koppen@hotmail.com and I will gladly send it to you.  I am not on top of things and Christmas cards have been low on the priority for me...so expect our Christmas card around February when we hopefully are settled in to a new house with a new address! 

I dread the fact that my "good" week is almost over...but look forward to having a fun weekend!  I will write more after tomorrows appointment!  Enjoy the rest of your week! 

touch and go....

Yesterday was chemo treatment number 5. It was touch and go for awhile whether I would get it or not. My counts are not bad, but I have felt pretty crappy lately fighting off this nasty cold. I'm blaming it on spending Saturday at the Preschool Christmas party at our church with my preschool nephews and daughter. Surrounded by little people is a definite recipe for desaster later when your immune system is already compromised. Whether it was from my group, some kids there or somewhere totally different, this cold sucks...but the time I spent with them was so worth it. So...yesterday they weren't sure if I would get chemo or not. I want to stay on track desperately so that I have Christmas chemo free and get my surgery in January then back at killing cancer with more chemo for 6 more rounds. I also wanted a break from it. The thing about chemo is that it just wears on you. It beats you down so much. It down right stinks. My prayers tonight are for everyone fighting this battle and going through this war. You aren't alone. I'm there with you. I may make it look easy, but it is tough. I did get my chemo. I also got 10 days worth of antibiotics to help me fight whatever nasty cold bug I have. I am thankful I am on track and now 1 day down into my pump-wearing-days. I am so blessed with some amazing people in my life that they really do pull me through these days. My daughter's birth family sent me a lovely gift and note in the mail. My sister-in-law and her fiance' made an amazing dinner for us. My rock star friend Amanda always comes through on my Monday chemo days for me with a great treat! These little things are huge in my life. They really do show how much love I am surrounded by and how much the people in my life mean to me. Surrounding yourself with amazing people is where it is at folks! I mean it when I say I love my life. I love everything about it and I am really excited for what lies ahead!