Wednesday, December 26, 2012

What is that you say????

If I'm not writing about good news, I'm writing about bad news.  Today I had an appointment with an audiologist.  My hearing has been bad.  It has been determined that the Oxaliplatin I was on with my first round of Chemo caused Ototoxicity and it was confirmed today that I have significant permanent hearing loss in both ears!  To put a number on it would look like 50 percent hearing loss.  The good news is that I ordered hearing aids today....I was thrilled to do so and did it almost immediately after they put them in my hears to give me an idea of what I would be experiencing using hearing aids....they were amazing.... like night and day....I was sold on them...even to the tune of 4090.00 out of pocket expense (and that is after my insurance covers 2500.00).  WOWSA!  Good thing I found out after Christmas, because my husband would not have surprised me with the most amazing dining room table (I picked out) if he knew he would be forking out some big moola for hearing aids.  So, even though I am only 34 years young and SHOULD NOT BE DEALING WITH THIS....I am actually pretty excited to hear again.  I recently went to a movie with Andrew and probably didn't hear half of what the movie said.  January 7th I will get my new ears. 

Ten days after I get my new ears I will be heading into surgery for my liver resection.  My surgery has been scheduled for January 17th at 8 am.  I am to be there at 615.  PLEASE write it down on your calendar to remember to say a quick prayer for me.  I am looking forward to getting rid of this cancer, but not looking forward to surgery and healing....it is just a pain in the butt.  I am however VERY excited that I am done with my chemo for a little while.  I needed a break in a bad way.  It was wearing on me and this last round really hit me hard.  I spent an entire week in the same outfit laying in the same position on the same couch.  When I did decide I needed a shower and a change of clothes on the 4th day I hopped in the shower and the shear energy it took to wash my hair combined with the heat of the shower made me sick.  So sick I couldn't finish bathing and got out of the shower vomiting and sicker than a dog.  I then decided another day of filth would be ok.  I did however manage to shower finally, change clothes and was on the road to recovery.  My Christmas was wonderful and I felt 60% well....the only real pain was from the horrific mouth sores I got and am still dealing with.  It however does not stop me from eating (even with the pain)....so really it isn't that bad.  Although tonight I did not partake in the chips and salsa at the mexican restaurant due to the pain.  Life goes on and every day is a little better than the day before.  I am so glad I will get a break from the chemo and even the recovery from surgery will be a piece of cake (I hope).  I will have 6 more rounds of chemo after my surgery and was suppose to have an added chemo which I am considering not taking since there is no known benefit to taking it.  I am just tired of chemo.  For those that are on a maintenance chemo for life I feel your pain and struggle and pray for you!  It is something that I wish upon noone!

So...I'm on the road to recovery and feeling pretty good.  I have been blessed with some amazing friends that continue to support me with positive energy and amazing surprises that keep me going.  It just helps to know that I am thought of and loved and I couldn't be more blessed.  This cancer stuff has really opened my eyes and my heart and changed me forever.  I have another appointment this Friday with the surgeon.  I'm not expecting to find anything out I didn't already know, and consider it more of a "lets just meet one last time before I slice you open and work on your liver" kind of appointment.  If I find anything out I will inform.  Until then...not sure how much I will be writing, as I really would rather enjoy my semi good and good days with my daughter and husband and family and friends....Life is so great.  I am thankful I can keep a positive outlook on life amid all this crap.  Thank you for helping me do that! 

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