Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A New Years Day Black Out....

My appointment with the surgeon was exactly what I expected.  Just a meeting before my surgery.  I really like him, although he did change his tune on a couple things from before.  Now my surgery on a scale of 1-10 is about a 5-6 which has gone up a few notches and even though he mentioned I would not wake up with any drains previously this time he mentioned I would wake up with a drain or two.  I am just ready to get it behind me.  It is the waiting that is so hard. 
It is a new year.  Happy New Year to my family, friends and loved ones.  I am thankful every day for all that you do for me.  I am excited and ready for a new year.  Although I will spend most of this year recovering from surgery and finishing my chemo, I am planning on being cancer free in 2013.  I look forward to that more than anything! 
The new year is sure to bring good news and blessing to me and my family this year....but it did not start out that great.  I recently injured myself being really stupid and have sprained or torn an intercostal rib muscle that has put me in excruciating pain.  This morning while I was showering I either blacked out from the pain or from lack of oxygen since I have had difficulty taking breaths and my breathing was very shallow.  I ended up blacking out and falling out of the shower onto the floor, naked!  Not a fun way to start the new year.  I woke up only slightly bruised and banged up and made it to the bedroom where I called for my husband and told him what happened.  The fact that I was ghost white and had hit my head and banged up my knee totally freaked him out and he was ready to take me to the ER.  I on the other hand am stubborn and new that if I could just rest and relax I would be ok.  Every time I shut my eyes he would wake me up.  After lots of googling symptoms and such I ended up icing my right side and have since felt half way decent with minimal pain.  I have actually been able to move around and breath normally.  What a freak accident to start the new year.  I have had to promise both my parents and my husband that I would not give them anymore surprises.  My mom does not want me to shower anymore. : )  Don't worry, I will continue to shower.  The shower has been the hardest part of my days though.  It is physically exhausting to me to shower and the heat from the shower makes me physically ill most of the time.  Anyway...  I do feel sorry for my family.  They have been taking care of me for 2 years.  Putting up with my crying, my depression, my pain, my illness, my fatigue, my laziness....I'm sure they are tired of it.  I sure am.  2013 just has to be my turning point.  I am looking forward to what is to come. I am staying positive...I have no other choice.

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