tomorrow will be even better...

It only took about 5 tomorrow's, but I am now on the mend, and things are better! I had a very rough 5 days.

I connected on Tuesday and basically laid around the entire day. (I have found if I do this, I end up having an easier time dealing with the chemo...maybe it is because I do not wear myself out...I don't know)

Wednesday instead of laying on the couch I laid in bed all day. I wasn't feeling well. It is hard to explain... I didn't throw up, but I was nauseous most of the day, dizzy and extremely tired. Like so tired that just getting up to brush your teeth is hard work. It makes it almost impossible to accomplish anything, and I'm really accomplishing alot if I can shower and get dressed! I really feel sorry for my husband these days. I am thankful that I have my mom to help me out as well. She comes over in the mornings to get Charly dressed and ready for daycare and takes her. I ride along.

Thursday morning at 4 am I woke up to chemo dripping down my chest. I immediately freaked. I don't' know what is in this chemo stuff, but I do know that when the nurses at St. Luke's handle it they are fully protected with robes, gloves, masks, etc. I went down to the kitchen and got my spill kit that they give you (and you never think you'll use!). I took off the dressing over my needle and sure enough the dang needle was sticking out. I pushed it in and grabbed a saline flush to see if it was in, and thank GOD I had blood return in the line, indicating it was in place. My upper right arm had crust all over it from where the chemo had dried and around the port was crusty from chemo. I cleaned it up, put on another dressing over the needle and went back to bed. I couldn't sleep! In the morning (about 30 minutes later) I got out of bed to google what chemo does to your skin...it burns. I have found that out now. I have an area over my port that is burned, but overall it wasn't too bad. Just an experience I don't want to go through again! I have to admit, that at 4 am when this was taking place, my initial reaction was to pull the needle and dispose of the rest of the chemo. But...I fight on! This stuff is going to do it's job!

Friday I went to the local hospital to get a shot of neulasta. It was at this appointment that I realized when the nurse asked me what medications I was on, that I realized I forgot to take my steroid this time. Not sure if it would have given me anymore energy, but it probably would have helped a little with dealing with the last 5 days. The shot hurt so bad I thought I would cry! I mean...I've been through quite a bit of painful things since January, and this was up there...it killed. Lucky me I get to get this shot 5 more times! So far it really hasn't affected my bones like the neupogen shots did. Saturday my arms and ribs were sore, but that has subsided and now I feel pretty good. Yesterday I did notice I was getting a mouth sore. This is an indication my white blood counts are low. I hope the neulasta kicks in and the bone marrow starts working overtime! Saturday and Sunday I was getting better, still very weak, still very tired, still felt very lazy, but didn't want to do much. Plus the diarrhea had kicked in. Yes...don't think I get away with that side effect of chemo. Here it is Monday...my last day of being 32! Tomorrow is my birthday and I am looking forward to spending it with the people I love and enjoying the day. Happy Birthday to me. :)

I smiled today because the last 5 days are over!

I smiled today because we have had friends come over to the house every night to hang out and I have enjoyed the company!

I smiled today because the house is getting done...slowly, but it is getting done!

I smiled today because I am so blessed! I have everything I could ever want!

I smiled today because we have replaced our vehicle with a different one! FINALLY!!!

Today is going to be a great day...but tomorrow will be even better! It's my birthday!