News Flash...I have cancer. CANCER! It hasn't gone away. It is really wierd to think about it because most of the time I don't feel like I have it. But it is there...it is always there...in the back of my mind...life goes on....
I was feeling pretty bad today because I had decided to cancel my appointment to start chemo again. I just wasn't ready to endure another 12 weeks of hell after feeling so good (... like having a liver resection has been a vacation for me....how sad is that?). Anyway...so I thought to myself: dang, I let it get to me...I let it win today...I couldn't fight and kick its arse and go to my appointment. I felt pretty bad. I am tired of being in fighting mode, and I still have it in me, a fight that is...but dang...I just wanted a break....ok...a little longer break...with no surgery, no recovery, no pain...just me, feeling like me again....if I can even remember what me feels like anymore! So anyway...after trying to come up with an excuse to cancel and postpone what is bound to happen, I found out I didn't have chemo today after all! So...there cancer....I still win! :) It turns out that they are giving me till March 8th so that I can visit with my Oncologist and then start chemo treatment # 1 of # 6 on March 11th. Ok, so it turns out I am not a complete chemo chicken and even though I thought I cancelled something I shouldn't have, I didn't, and therefore I still win, right? I still come out on top! CANCER, YOU SUCK!
I am definitely going to enjoy the last couple weeks chemo free! I have to. I have no choice. I am not going to cancel March 11...I'm going to get back into it and KICK ITS ARSE! Again...CANCER YOU SUCK!
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