the down side of chemotherapy...

Tuesday was chemo treatment #3. I was lucky to be able to get it. My labs are extremely low right now. I had to go back in on Friday and get a shot of the neupogen, which will hopefully kick my bone marrow into overdrive and start making some white blood cells as well as neutrophils. My biggest fear right now is getting sick, which is why most of the time I tend to stay at home huddled on the couch away from the world. At least I do this when I am aware of my low counts. I will go back to the Oncologist on Monday to recheck my labs and most likely get my second of five neupogen shots. (Let me tell you...those little shots HURT!)

The neupogen shots cost around 3000.00 a piece. It amazes me the cost of everything. Cancer is expensive folks! (try not to get it!!!)

I have been lucky enough *sarcasm* to experience early the effects from the neupogen shots. I get the most wonderful *sarcasm* sharp shooting pains in my leg and arm bones. I was told it would happen about day 2 or 3... so I'm wondering what I have to look forward to! :) I just keep telling myself... this is all part of the journey.

I was fortunate enough this time to keep from being nauseous. Maybe I am getting use to the feeling? I don't know. I did try to make myself eat this time, which I believe helped a little.

I am thankful I did not feel as horrible as I did the first two times. I am not so thankful to have picked up a few other side effects along the way. I tell you... I must be the 2% that gets to experience it all! I mean...if I'm going to take this journey, why not get the full effect! :)

The drug I go home with that I have in my pump for 46 hours is called 5-FU. The following are some of the side effects:

•Diarrhea. (EVERY TIME I GET CHEMO!!!)
•Nausea and possible occasional vomiting. (You've seen this picture already)
•Mouth sores. (this is a new one!)


•Poor appetite. (only on the second and third day after chemo)
•Watery eyes, sensitivity to light. (this one I have yet to experience...dang)
•Taste changes, metallic taste in mouth during infusion. (mostly when I drink water)
•Discoloration along vein through which the medication is given.
•Low blood counts. Your white and red blood cells and platelets may temporarily decrease. This can put you at increased risk for infection, anemia and/or bleeding.
(This has been a problem ever since my first treatment)

These side effects are less common side effects of patients receiving 5-FU:

•Skin reactions: Dry, cracking, peeling skin. •Hair thinning.
•Nail changes - discoloration, loss of nails
•Hand -foot syndrome -skin rash, swelling, redness, pain and/or peeling of the skin on the palms of hands and soles of feet. (THIS JUST HAPPENED TODAY)



on the up side...I am lucky enough to have the best foot rubber ever! :)


On top of the 5-FU I also get Leucovorin and a drug called Oxaliplatin which is full of just as many side effects as the 5-FU.
Oxaliplatin Infusion Related Side Effects:

•The feeling of difficulty swallowing, shortness of breath, jaw spasm, abnormal tongue sensation and feeling of chest pressure.
The following Oxaliplatin side effects are common for patients taking Oxaliplatin:

•Peripheral neuropathy - Numbness and tingling and cramping of the hands or feet often triggered by cold. (This happens immediately, and it SUCKS, although it only lasts for me about 4-6 days.)
•Nausea and vomiting
•Diarrhea
•Mouth sores
•Low blood counts
•Fatigue
•Loss of appetite
The following are less common Oxaliplatin side effects for patients receiving Oxaliplatin:

•Constipation (This happens before the diarrhea...so I get to experience it all!)
•Fever
•Generalized pain
•Headache
•Cough
•Temporary increases in blood tests measuring liver function.
•Allergic reaction

Now isn't that some lovely stuff! I swear as I sit here with my feet just throbbing and my bag full of crappola, I am bound to experience them all. Life is funny that way.

Sorry to bore you with the long lists, and the disgusting pictures (I promise not to do that again), but I want this to be as real as possible. I'm not sugar coating it and making it look easy, am I?

This is a long journey for me, and even though it is only a milisecond of my life, right now it feels like it is taking FOREVER, and that I've been doing it forever...does that make sense?! My next treatment will put me half way to my surgery...that will be a milestone for me. I need to get that treatment. I need to get them all. Any set back is just a hindrance to me. I want this part of my life behind me. I want to be healthy. I want my husband to get a break. I want to be able to have energy to play with my daughter again. I need my life to go on, without cancer!

~Today I smiled because it snowed while I was napping, making it so beautiful outside. God is good!

~Today I smiled when I got to make dinner for charly and we ate together...even if it was just mac and cheese.

~Today I smiled because I got a card in the mail...those make my day!

~Today I smiled because I took it easy! It is hard for me to just do nothing...it drives me crazy!

Today was a good day (better than I expected), and tomorrow will be even better!