My Sunday night cry...

I don't even feel like crying, I just want to stop the clock for awhile. I am definitely not ready for tomorrow. I have felt so good (minus the hike my mom made me do on Tuesday that left me physically disabled for 3 days). Did I just give away how out of shape I am???? I learned that you can't be sick and sleep all week long and then the next week run a marathon (or maybe just a giant hill!)... so...on my next good week, my daily walks will not include any mountains. It did feel good to get out in the cool air and walk with my parents...but next time I'm going to be a little kinder to myself. My goal was to walk every day on my good week. That didn't happen. I will work on that goal on my next good week! :) I have felt so good this week I just want to shout it and let everyone know. I do not feel like I have cancer. It really is so wierd. Sometimes I have to sit back and think...is this a bad dream? Then of course I have my stomach to look at and that is a quick reminder of what I have been through and how much further I still have to go. For those of you that have prayed for my friend. I have learned that prayers are powerful. Thank you. The news received was better than expected and my friend definitely has more hope. This week will be surgery for my friend. Please Please Please Please Please say a prayer for the doctors, nurses, staff, the family and my friend. Surgery is scary, and when you have cancer mixed in with it...it makes it even scarrier. You never know what you will find or what news you are going to hear. I love you friend. You will be ok, I promise! Praying for you daily and thinking of you all the time. I'm praying that my week ahead is better than my last bad week. I think my body is really starting to get use to this stuff (again) and it gets better as the time goes on. I'm not saying it is fun...just tolerable. I'm not as sick...maybe more tired and fatigued than anything...and oh...yeah...I have the hair loss to still look forward to. There is a slim slim slim chance I will only thin...but we all know that my luck ran out when I adopted that beautiful baby...so now I have a bald head to look forward to. OH LORD! Enjoy your week. I am so thankful for my family and friends that have been a huge support for me. Jan Glick, thank you for dinner. Meg, Donna, and Eileen we are so thankful for the meals you have provided. Mom...you are my everything...thank you for loving me enough to raise my daughter on my bad weeks for me when I am too tired and she could get away with anything. You have gone through this every step of the way with me and I can't love you or thank you enough. The gifts you have mailed to me are TOO much, but very much appreciated, and brighten my day! Amanda E., you are such a rock star. Your gifts before my chemo weeks make Monday's more tolerable. Cindy S., you are the only person I know that gives gifts to other people when it is YOUR birthday. Thank you for being my sunshine! You got me through and continue to get me through tough times. I love you guys so much. These are just a few of the people that have affected me this past week. I am so blessed. It definitely takes a village to raise a cancer survivor! Thank you!!!!