What the....

What the heck is going on here? I am suppose to be feeling good today and I'm not. I feel lousy. I can't complain because this chemo regimen has been so much kinder to me than the last one...but I lack so much energy that it doesn't take much to make me feel sick. Today I'm dealing with mouth sores, horrific heartburn and sores in my nose. This doesn't seem horrible, but I am pretty miserable and on top of it all I am sick with a cold I can't seem to shake. I'm sure my levels are low. Today feels like the pits...but I'm putting on a smile and pushing through this day bound and determined to have a great day and smile through it. Today is my families Thanksgiving and I am so excited to spend the evening with everyone and of course eating! I can't believe that Thanksgiving has already come and I'm constantly being reminded daily that "Christmas is almost here mom!" by my daughter. She is so excited and that makes me so excited. I'm thrilled that my last visit with my doctor shed some light on what lies ahead...My Christmas will be chemo free and preping for my surgery. I'm so excited about that. I have 2 more treatments and then I will be having my "cut the cancer out of my liver" surgery or liver resection...whatever sounds better to you. I prefer the "cut the cancer out..." it makes me feel better. After my next chemo treatment I will have another CT Scan and MRI to restage my cancer and find out exactly where it is so the surgeon can map out his plan for surgery. CT scans scare me now. I dread them. You NEVER know what they are going to show and what news you are going to get. I'll never go into another CT scan with confidence again. I have however come to love surgeries...since they do save my life. This surgery will be welcomed! It is kind of horrible to walk around KNOWING you have cancer inside you. The scary thing to me is that cancer has a mind of its own. It can respond to treatment, or it can't. It can spread like wildfire or it can lay dormant. It can disappear or it can grow. And I don't know what my cancer does. It drives me crazy sometimes. Most of the time though I pray about it and know that I am in great hands. It is because I am a believer that I can get through my days with smiles and a happy heart and know that I am already healed. The only change that I will be making after my surgery is adding that additional chemo to my regimen. This is the chemo that can cause severe acne. I'm thrilled about it *sarcasm*...but whatever it takes I'm there. Overall I am doing well. Busy with moving since we sold our house and busy looking for a new place, and finding time to lay on the couch and recover in between. I have been doing well. I appologize for not writing more. I will try to do better. My hair is still hanging in there although thinning quite a bit and I really don't have much "juicy" news to report. I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving because there is so much to be thankful for! Love you all!