These are the days of our lives....

Blacking out and falling out of the shower had me down a full week.  It was awful.  Breathing was the worst.  I don't think I could lay flat or sleep in my bed for at least 3-4 days.  I didn't shower for a week and I didn't leave the house AT ALL.... I definitely did some damage to my body...probably worse than any cancer could do.  Big girls should NOT fall down.  I was a mess.  What am I saying...I am a mess.  I am a medical nightmare to my husband.  He said to me the other day...If someone told you 2 years ago you would be here today...like this..., what would you say?  I just would not have believed it in a hundred years.  I am living proof that you do not know what tomorrow brings.  Cherish each day because tomorrow you never know. 

As my surgery day draws closer I start to freak out a little more each day.  Not that I am scared of the surgery...I am just not ready to be in the "recovering" mode again.  I really enjoy having good days.  Feeling good.  Not sick.  Feeling like I don't have cancer.  I love it.  I guess I can't stop it from happening, so I'm praying for peace within for the next few days.  My surgery is NEXT THURSDAY!  I will be at St. Luke's Hospital on the Plaza.  I'm not sure how long I will be there but probably 3-7 days.  I'm planning on 3 or 4 at the most.  I am not a good patient and I do not care much for hospitals.  I will do much better the minute I get home.  Please remember to write down the 17th on your calendar to say a quick prayer for me.  I know I will be in great hands and I am not worried at all, but all the prayers I can get the better! 

So with this surgery drawing close, I look back and realized in less than 2 years I will have had 3 major surgeries....2 bowel resections and 1 liver resection.  Plus 2 ports placed.  18 rounds of chemo to date... numerous shots of neulasta, countless CT scans, PET scans, MRIs, 3 colonoscopies, and gallons of contrast, doctors appointments I can't even tell you how many, sold 2 houses, moved twice. bought 2 houses, raised a toddler to be a stinker....(that part was fun!) oh...and lets not forget hearing aides for BOTH ears... but the rest.....NOT FUN people.  My anniversary for my first surgery (I.E. the day they found my cancer is coming up.... 2 years exactly on January 23rd!)  is around the corner.  I am praying that this is it.  2 full years of crap and I made it to the other side.  I  did it with your help, your prayers, your support, your meals, your cards, your flowers, your gifts, your kindness, your love. Please know that someone with cancer can not do it alone.  They need friends and  I am truely blessed to have the people in my life that I call friends and family!  It probably sounds pretty wierd, but I really really really love my life.  I am blessed. 

Wish me luck and say a prayer for me!