a little more than 16 weeks...

16+ weeks since my last surgery, living with a cancer diagnosis...

4+ months!!!

The amazing thing is that I am still being prayed for, thought of, loved, and mailed gifts!!!! Today when my husband brought in the mail I got a package...and inside the package was this surprise...






What a wonderful gift, a necklace that says "strength". Something I need so much of.

One of my roommates from my first year at the University of Kansas sent this to me today. What an amazing suprise. What a spirit lifter. Aundria...you are one of the sweetest people I know. It means so much to me that I have had such an amazing support system. That people have prayed for me, talked about my story, thought of me, wished me well, supported me, encouraged me, loved me, and brightened my day with a note, a thought, a smile, a hug, a gift. I have recieved so many wonderful gifts, and to continue to recieve them after over 4 months...wow! I don't even know what to say, but Thank you!

Being diagnosed with cancer at 32, having to undergo the surgery I have, having to live and deal with my colostomy, mediport, chemo, cancer, to continue living life, etc. has taught me so much. These life lessons are hard. I am notorious for learning things the hard way. (have I mentioned that before???) Not only have I learned just how blessed and loved I am, I have also learned how important it is to be there for someone. To show someone how much you love them, how much you care, how you are thinking of them. People I would have never thought cared about me, have shown they do...people I never thought I would have connected with, I have amazing connections with...I have learned so much. I am thankful for my cancer...for what it has done for me...for what it continues to do for me and for the lessons I have learned and continue to learn.

Now for some fantastic news...I got a call yesterday from my surgeon. Hooray...I get my first colonoscopy the day before surgery. Why, you ask, don't they just do it while I am asleep before they do surgery? That question I ask myself...but I have learned, that as I have said before...life's lessons for me are hard. This is one of pure strength. I can do it!!! Things for me don't come easy...but when I am done I always feel a great sense of accomplisment! The 3 days leading up to my surgery won't be fun and relaxing...they will be filled with colon preps, antibiotics and colonoscopies. Can I have anything better to look forward to? I guess a plus is that my colonoscopy won't be performed up my arse...but instead up my makeshift arse on my gut! I haven't figured out if that is a good thing or not? Will it make it anymore plesant? Stay tuned for the update on this one! :)

Today was an excellent day!!! Tomorrow will be so much better. (is that possible?)

~I smiled when I found out my older brother got a colonoscopy yesterday! I am so proud of him and so happy to hear his results were good! I love him!!!

~I smiled today when Andrew made plans to take Charly to walk around the pond tomorrow and feed the ducks. I love the small adventures we have! I love having my own family.

~I smiled today when I got a big hug from my baby first thing in the morning! She puts a smile on my face all day long. Life couldn't be better for me! Really...isn't that amazing for someone who has gone through some difficult stuff to say this???... and I mean it! I love my life!

~I smiled today because it's one day closer to the weekend...and I love my weekends!

~I smiled today because I got the sweetest gift in the mail from one of the sweetest people I know! It just made my day and lifted my spirits.

~I smiled today because while I was cooking dinner I smelled this awful smell and thought the meat had gone bad...only to realize Charly pooped her pants! It is stupid things like this that just make me smile!

~I smiled today because it was a beautiful day...and it wasn't raining!