I have had this lingering rash for the past week. It doesn't bother me too much. Itches a little, looks ugly, feels bumpy and gross, but besides that it is what it is...a rash. The thing is...it is an allergic reaction to my chemo. When I went to see Dr. Y today for my appointment before my chemo, right off the bat she saw my rash. Commented that it was a significant rash, but that she would like to try and keep the chemo regimen the same and see what happens. (kinda scary when she asked if my breathing had become difficult...it better not!) My chemo is already at 80% strength...to keep it as strong as possible would be the best. I did not have a problem with this decision. I am just so happy I have ONE more...that is right people...after this current treatment I have ONE more! HIP HIP HOORAH!!!!! I'm sorry to say, that once I get a good report from my MD Anderson appointment I will not be blogging as often (which lately has meant once or twice a week) SORRY! I might not blog at all...we'll see! I am ready to be done with this cancer stuff...which means talking about it too! I wish I could find a way to thank everyone who has been a key role in my treatment...by having an amazing benefit, sending cards, calls, texts, emails, fb posts, gifts, LOVE, SUPPORT, FRIENDSHIP, UNDERSTANDING, KINDNESS, PRAYERS, PRAYERS, and PRAYERS! I love each and every one of you! Every one of you has kept my spirits up...made me stronger...put the fight in me! I love you for that.
In two days it will have been exactly 9 months since I became a surgical masterpiece! Found out I have cancer. Cried my eyes out a bajillion times. Felt sick as doo doo. Held my daughter (and husband) and hoped and prayed I was going to beat this...and by beat this I mean NEVER have to deal with it again! Healed... and then healed some more. Learned to live with a shit bag...(pardon my french) and then in turn learned to be humble because of it. Learned to love, and by love I mean really LOVE. Learned that I was loved...which was amazing!!! Learned to empathize...and by that I don't mean shave my head to support and love someone (which by the way I think is UBER awesome!)...but I've kinda done the "been there done that and I feel for you so much no matter what kind of cancer treatment you are going through...it all sucks!" I have enjoyed ever hour, minute and second I felt good. I have even enjoyed ever hour, minute and second I didn't, because I know that I was fighting that stinkin' cancer! I have battled through it! Spent some amazing one on one time with my mom every 2 weeks (even though it was painfully long hours at the cancer center). Become stronger emotionally and spiritually. Amazed myself. Moved! Parented my beautiful child to the best of my ability, and by that I mean...she got away with murder! I have continue to live...had a miserable time and then a great time.
This is my favorite time of year...I am so ready for Halloween, my upcoming Seattle trip, Thanksgiving, finally putting my house together, my Houston trip and spending time with my husband (MUCH needed time...and by that you don't want to know!), Christmas and Santa and Stockings over our very first fire place!!!!, and last but not least (besides all the amazing days in between)...a FRESH NEW YEAR (kinda puts a tear in my eyes). This next year has GOT to be an improvement. Please pray that it is! I kinda need it! :)
Life is good...I have my second to last chemo pumping...that stinkin' pump attached to me, but I am thankful...it is about over. I am kickin' this cancers arse! Thanks for your help!
Today was a good day, tomorrow will be just as good (if not better!).
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