Somehow...I was tricked into taking them. Somehow...they incorporated it into my chemo regimen without me knowing. Somehow...I feel better. Somehow...I have gained weight and become puffy. Puffy is not a word you want to be by the way...it is worse than fat. I am dying to finish my last 3 chemos and then start the battle of loosing weight and being a little less puffy and for sure a little more healthy.
I woke up this morning and the first thought that ran through my head is "this is my last day". It is my last day to feel good (at least for a little while) and enjoy it. Enjoy the semi-energy I have and the ability to get some stuff done around the house before I get "sick" again. Actually I should now say "tired" instead of "sick". This chemo thing has gotten a little easier for me to get through. I'm not sure if I am use to it, my body is adapting to it better, or if really all the new stuff I take is helping. I definitely dread my Tuesday chemo days. It feels like I am stuck in that infusion room for hours..and I am! And then on top of that I have to go home with that stupid pump. Those 46 hours feel like 460 hours...I hate it. Thank goodness I only have 3 more! 3!!!!!
I spent the first half of the long weekend in Jefferson City seeing friends, neighbors, co-workers and hanging out around town and of course making an appearance at the Hartsburg Pumpkin Fest! MY FAVORITE. To think last year I missed it because we were in Vegas (and secretly I wanted to stay home to go to it)... I know Kim...you are rolling your eyes right now reading this and thinking I am crazy. I do love town fests though! Mostly for the food!!! (again... thank you steroids for the never ending hunger I have and the ability to eat all day long and not be full!)
We returned back to good ol' Kansas just in time to wake up extra early to drive through Kansas City to make it to the Stephanie Vest Foundation PINK LAUNDRY 5K walk/run. I didn't know Stephanie, but I did follow her blog while she was battling cancer, and I have friends that know her and her family. I felt the need to participate in her fundraiser and honor such a strong woman. People were and continue to be there for me, supporting me and my family and I felt I needed to be there for her. I walked the 5K with my husband and daughter (all wearing pink in support of Stephanie) and finished it! It amazes me...this is my second 5K in about a month and I am amazed with my ability to finish. I am so proud of myself when I do! I walked the 5K watching my baby and seeing Stephanie's baby who is about the same age and thought of Stephanie and every second she has missed with her baby. I watched her oldest son write a message to her on his balloon and send it to heaven for her to read. I thought about how she was watching everyone from heaven and smiling. I thought of the beautiful life that everyone here on Earth is missing out on and how she reached people's hearts that she didn't even know. I thought of the times I would read her blog and think about what she was going through and really had NO idea at the time... I kind of do now! Although I am not in a hospital bed dying, I do know how the diagnosis of cancer crushes you and that immediately your thoughts go to your kids...and then everyone else you deeply love. I know that she spent every day fighting cancer for her kids, her husband, her family, her friends, and herself. It is a tough burden to carry and a hard battle to fight, and she did it with grace and beauty! Thank you Stephanie for touching my heart and making me a stronger person. I could only hope to be as kind, beautiful, patient, loving, and full of fun and spunk as you! You are a role model to me!
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