The world as we know it was predicted to end today...
It didn't, at least not yet!
I looked at a calendar yesterday. I look at a calendar every day, but yesterday I really looked at it. I realized I only have about 2 more good weeks till this starts all over again. 2 weeks. 2 weeks will be over before I know it. That makes me sad. I start to panic. I start to get nervous. My stomach starts to hurt. I have to admit, I am scared.
Scared of so many things. Scared I might not wake up. Scared I will get another bag. Scared of how much it will hurt. Scared of my incision popping open. Scared of getting an infection. Scared of having to breath and cough. Scared of being in the hospital. Scared of my results. Scared of the tube in my nose and having to get it out. Scared of the drain in my gut and having to get it out. Scared of HAVING TO POOP! Scared of pretty much every detail that involves this.
I start to wonder...why am I so scared. I have been through it before, and most importantly...I made it through. I lived. I am ok. I can do it again. It takes a little convincing on my part, and probably some anti anxiety medications, but I can and will do it again.
On another note. I ordered a T-shirt for myself while I am in the hospital. JUST WAIT!!! You will die when you see it! :)
There is no doubt in my mind that you will get thru all of this with flying colors! It is normal to be scared, apprehensive, unsure, etc. but you are such a strong young lady and will be just fine!!! The reversal in itself is a major surgery.....so you've got to conserve your strength to face that! You are such a positive person Jen and have such a wonderful support group. Others don't know what is involved in the reversal surgery but take it from one who knows....you have got to take care of yourself and follow drs. oders! Remember, everyday after the surgery will be better than the one before and before you know it, this will all be a distant memory for you! Love and hugs coming your way!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Cindy for your words and encouragement! I think of you every day! You have helped me through this...and your job isn't over yet! :)
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