storms a coming...

Wow...The reality of having a second surgery within a little over 4 months is starting to set in for me. I've said it before...I remember every little detail of my surgery, of course minus the first 1/2 of the first day when I was in and out of conscienousness. I remember hurting...just plain HURTING! It hurt to breath, talk, laugh, cry, and of course...cough, which I really didn't do much of. I know as a nurse you have to cough and deep breath, but SCREW THAT!!!! Because I was such a stubborn patient, I was starting to get pneumonia when I left the hospital. This time I vow to work harder with my deep breathing and coughing! I just want my surgery over along with the first 2 weeks of recovery. THEY SUCKED JUST AS MUCH AS THE SURGERY!!!

Today I had a day filled with appointments. Charly had an appointment this morning, which went well. NO neurological conditions and her walking will get better. (For those of you that don't know, she has been seeing a Orthotist and has Orthotic inserts made for he feet to help with her intoeing) Charly's Orthotist sent us to a Neurologic MD to rule out any possible neurologic conditions, mainly cerebral palsy due to my child walking like a fool! But...the outcome today was that she is completely normal and has the most common orthotic problem children her age have. Her femur is turned in on both leg which causes her to walk pigeon toed. Because of this she falls quite a bit. The good news...she should grow out of it, and I can start buying her cute shoes and ditch the orthotics (they don't help) and the bad news is we've only spent lots of money to find out she is completely NORMAL. It could be worse, so I am blessed. This afternoon I had an appointment myself, which was cancelled. BOO HOO. I hate that. I had great intentions of heading back to work until I laid down on the couch and fell asleep! I woke up to the storm rolling in. It has been kind of peaceful for me. I needed some alone time. Some time to think. Some time to pray.

I am constantly reminded by my husband how sorry he feels for me that I have to go through this surgery again. *thanks husband for the reminder!!!* I am also reminded by my mom who says she will be having panic attacks about my surgery (which is a month away)...*thanks mom...* She thinks SHE'S going to have panic attacks... I told her to be me for one day! It is a scary thing to think about, and having medical background makes it a million times worse! I wish I was dumb and didn't know anything!

I have faith my surgery will go well...although I have had diarrhea since scheduling it...my nerves are shot! I have to get my mind off of this...