Thankful!

I am allowed to have difficult days. I am human. But that doesn't mean I am not thankful for this past year! Crazy as it may sound... and as much as I say how hard 2011 was for me and how I wouldn't relive it....I am thankful for it. I am thankful I survived it...and much more!

I went to church today. It felt good. I have not been in a long while...mostly because I haven't felt well enough or had the energy to get myself ready and go...today i felt great and I went. It was about being thankful...for everything. As hard of a year as I had...I have been thankful through it all. I have never once been angry at God for what has happened to me...and I have continued to thank him through it all.

The things I am thankful for...that you might not have known:

1. I am thankful I didn't poop for 12 days and had to have surgery...Why??? Because they found my cancer!

2. I am thankful that I got a poop bag that was attached to me for months! Why??? Because it humbled me...and gave me an appreciation and empathy for those that have one.

3. I am thankful I started chemo, despite the fact that initially my doctor gave me an "out"! Why??? Because after my first surgery when everyone (including me) thought my cancer was gone...it was still there!

4. I am thankful I had my second surgery! Why??? Not only did I get rid of my bag, but they found a lymph node that still had cancer!

5. I am thankful that I have experienced all these side effects from chemo! WHY???? Good question...but it really has softened my heart, especially to those going through chemo.

6. I am thankful that I was put on steroids! Why??? Not only did I have a reason to eat whatever I wanted :) but it also made my chemo bearable!

7. I am thankful that every other week I had to spend the majority of a day at the cancer center! WHY??? Because I got to spend some quality time with my mom and know how much she really loves me! (I knew already, but this truly was an amazing amount of love she showed me!)

8. I am thankful that we moved! WHY??? As much as I want to move back and love my friends and neighbors back in Jefferson City... My daughter now gets to be close to her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and I have an amazing doctor here!!!! This has made it all worth the move!

9. I am thankful that my body is now scared up and frankly...pretty nasty looking! Why??? Because despite it all...and how horrible I look, my husband still loves me, and shows it every day!

10. I am thankful everyday for 2011!

And then of course things I am thankful for that you probably already know:

1. MY FAMILY

2. MY FRIENDS

3. MY DOCTORS

4. MY LIFE

5. GOOD DAYS

6. REST

7. BEING DONE!!!!!

8. 2012


Today was a great day! (and I am thankful for that!) Tomorrow will be even better.