weekend news...

I pulled out all my medication bottles yesterday while I was packing up the kitchen. I didn't realize I had 9 bottles of medications prescribed to me, not including chemo! NINE!!! These bottles of medications are a life saver to me during my chemo week. They don't help me fight cancer...they help me fight the chemo! All the medications I take, are to help me with the symptoms I get from the chemo! 3 medication bottles for nausea, 2 for diarrhea, 2 for constipation, 1 for mouth/throat/stomach sores, and 1 steroid...all to help me get through a rough week! I tend to panic when they start to run low on pills, but after a review of them yesterday, I should be set for the next treatment.

I spent yesterday working hard with Andrew! We dropped Charly off in the morning with our friends who were kind enough to watch her for the day, and we headed to the house to get busy packing! I have to say...you do get a lot more done without a 2 year old hanging around! When we dropped her off she was a full fledged KC Chiefs fan and KU Jayhawk fan and when we picked her up they had transformed her into a RAM loving MU fan! I do not feel that it has traumatized her yet!

Before:


After:




When she got back to the house she walked in and the first words out of her mouth were "Oh My Goodness"!!! This move has not been hard on her yet, but I am anticipating it may be? I know leaving her friends and babysitter will be heartbreaking! I think I am going to have a hard time with it!

I have two good days left of feeling human! Although I have more packing to do with Andrew today, we are not going to push it like we did yesterday, and have a bit more relaxing Sunday. Next week is going to be crazy for us, and hard on me...and so...today we enjoy! I'm planning on taking in some swimming, maybe taking her to the bridge to walk (we love that), going to the bounce house this afternoon to wear her out, and a nice dinner at home, courtesy of our awesome friends with amazing bbq-ing skills....RIBS are on the menu for tonight! Today is going to be a great day!

Tomorrow...my last good day till round 2 of chemo...is the benefit at Pizza Hut my friend has put together! We are looking forward to that!

all aboard...

That is right...I need to get on this moving train! I can't believe we are moving next Wednesday! I am not getting done what I need to! I don't want to waste my good days on working hard at packing my house up...is that so much to ask? Charly is having a great time...climbing on, in and around boxes...jumping from things and of course...making trains around the house with objects she finds...it is pretty cute! I FINALLY got a camera today...came home, used it...and HATE IT! I'm taking it back tomorrow and getting a different one. I have to document (in pictures) our move...since this will be our last (I hope)!

We never made it this week to the fair like I had planned. I had a great vision of taking Charly to the fair to see all the farm animals, ride the rides with her dad (since they make me sick), eating all kinds of "fair" food...but...that didn't happen. This heat has been HORRENDOUS! I stay indoors. I avoid the sun at all cost! I only get in the pool in the evening after the sun goes down...and I'm pretty sure I will continue to do this for the rest of my life! The chemo has caused my skin to become so sensitive to the sun it is crazy! I blister up in a matter of minutes....and so...I avoid it! (I never could get tan anyway...why even try now!)

I actually went to work a full week! I was so proud of myself! It exhausted me, but I did it! I came home in the evenings and pretty much crashed...which is why I haven't been packing much! (If you follow me on Facebook, you will also see that I have sold and gotten rid of more stuff than I have packed...so I am doing my part at least!) The week was good. It made me plow through my exhaustion, my headaches, my nausea and dizziness. I am thankful I have a job (even if it is for a little while)!My company has been good to me...actually GREAT to me! I am going to be coming to Jefferson City on my good weeks and working 3 days a week until they either hire someone to fill my position or I am physically not able to do it anymore (I'm hoping I don't get to that point!).

The girls at work have really worked hard at putting the benefit for me together on the 6th of August. I am so worried I will be sick and unable to attend. I just know this next week is going to kill me with moving and chemo the way it is already, and then to drive back for the benefit may just be too much. Please pray that I feel well enough to make it, because I really want to show up and have a great time! There is also a benefit my friend Jackie has put together for me on August 1st at the Pizza Hut (by the mall). I will be able to attend that one, as I don't have Chemo till the next day! So...if you are in the area and can't decide what to have for dinner Monday night...come grab a pizza! :) It amazes me the kindness everyone has shown! I am so thankful! I do want to say, that if anyone did order a shirt from Nicole for the benefit on August 6th, please pay her the 10.00 for the shirt! She has done a great job with helping to put the benefit together and keeping track of the shirt orders, etc! Thank you in advance if you did order one, donated to the benefit, the benefit account, or will attend!

Ok...I'd better get off and go pack a little! Keep me in your thoughts! Not only do I have Cancer...and have Chemo this week...but I AM MOVING!!!!! YUCK!!!!! I'm just ready to be in my new house, with my family near!

Have a great weekend!!! Happy Friday!

Lovely labs...

Labs were drawn yesterday and amazingly enough...they were good! That makes me feel good. I can go into my next chemo treatment with numbers on my side instead of fighting them, and it keeps me on schedule! I want to stay on schedule so bad!!! I want to get this done and over with and kick this cancer's arse once and for all!

I appreciate all the prayers, encouragement, thoughts, cards, gifts, EVERYTHING! They really do help keep me strong and moving forward!

I'm hoping I can talk Andrew into buying a camera tomorrow since mine broke...I am missing out on my picture taking, and my blog is lacking some creativity! :)

Today was a great day...I'm looking forward to tomorrow!

work it baby!!!!

Today was my first day back to work since I left for surgery 6 1/2 weeks ago! It felt so good to get back to normal. It felt good to get out of my car and have my nurses wave and yell at me from across the parking lot. It felt good to know I was missed and that they were glad to have me back (even if it is for a short time). I don't think someone has ever been so happy to walk into a prison, as I was!

I did wash my hands more than normal, and I was careful not to touch my face. These are things I have to think of constantly. I have to always be wondering if I'm going to get sick. I never know what my blood counts are (until I get my blood drawn) and it scares the snot out of me. Tomorrow I have an appointment to get my blood drawn and follow up. I'm hoping for some good counts...A) to keep me on my chemo schedule, and B) so I can ease up on worrying so much about getting sick! (say a prayer for me, please!!!!)

I felt really good today, and being around people really brought my spirits up. I picked up Charly from daycare, came home and put dinner together and even got in the pool for awhile! That really is amazing! Now I'm exhausted! I will sleep well tonight, which will be a change! For the last 3 weeks I have slept like complete crap! I have had such horrible abdominal pains and seriously wondered if I had a rib out or even worse...Cancer! LOL!!! Just kidding! I knew it wasn't cancer since I had my scans done just 2 weeks ago which showed NOTHING! HALLELUJIAH!!!! So when I went in last week and saw Dr. R to start Chemo, he did an exam and I told him that I was having abdominal pain. Pain on a scale of 1-10....oh...about a constant 7! Pain that keeps me from being able to sit up straight when I am laying down...I have to do this funky roll to my side thing! Yeah...I do kind of look like a beached whale trying to get up. It's pretty horrible. So...you ask what it is huh???? ADHESIONS from my surgery! After the first surgery I had a bunch but could not even tell or feel them. In fact I had so many that Dr. T spent about 3 hours taking them down when he did the second surgery. Adhesions for those of you that don't know, are fibrous bands that form between tissues and organs, often as a result of injury during surgery. They may be thought of as internal scar tissue that connect tissues not normally connected...and they HURT! In fact, it feels like I have one that connects my belly button to my ribs on my left side. The area where I had the colostomy is probably one big adhesion! Ok...I'm not going to complain about them anymore...EVER, because I would much rather deal with them, then have a poop bag hanging on me...but I do want to say...DANG THEY HURT!

So, overall the day was fantastic! It was good to get out of the house, good to feel human again, good to be productive! I am looking forward to the rest of the week and spending time with my co-workers. I really will miss them when I leave.

Today was an excellent day!!!! I can't imagine tomorrow being better...we'll see!!

~Ok...I smiled today because while I was putting Charly in the bath, she accidentally turned the shower on. THIS FREAKED HER OUT! She jumped out of the tub so fast and hung on to me for dear life. All I could do was laugh, and the harder I laughed, the more scared she got! Needless to say...we COULD NOT GET HER IN THE TUB. So...hopefully tomorrow our attempt is more successful! Until then...I am thankful for the pool bath she gets in the evenings! :)

~I smiled today because I went back to prison! I LOVE MY JOB!

~I smiled today because I actually got a few more boxes packed and it feels like we are making a little bit of progress!

~I smiled today because my couch is full of My Little Pony stickers...and 2 1/2 years ago that was something I didn't think would ever happen! I love being a mom! Life is funny!!!

Don't ask...if you don't want to know!

I was feeling lousy the other night and probably should have just kept my mouth shut. Hanging out in the living room with my husband, I laid there thinking to myself (I probably shouldn't be doing that!)about my future...our future. I wondered what he really thought about this cancer crap. I wondered if he even gave it much thought, or was he like me and just tried to get through it one day at a time. I shouldn't have even brought it up...but I did!

I asked him if he thought I was going to die of cancer...and what he said shocked me! I thoroughly expected him to tell me how strong I was and that he just knew this was a bump in the road for me and how no matter what, we were in this together....HE DIDN'T say any of that! He proceeded to tell me in a very serious tone, that he did in fact think that I would get over this, but he felt that in about ten years I would get it again and who knows what would happen then! I freaked! I mean...I know I have cancer, and as much as I hate that fact and really try to pretend it isn't the case, I have to live with it. I have to think about my future, his future, MY Daughter's future! It scares me to death. I am not afraid to die, but I just don't want to die till I'm ready...is that so much to ask? I mean...getting this cancer stuff feels like it just gave me a one way ticket out of here far too soon. That can't be the case. This has got to be one of the biggest obstacles I will ever encounter in my life...but I can guarantee you (and my husband), that I will not let it get the best of me. I will not let it take my happiness, my joy, my future! I will get through this, and I will survive, and because of it, I know I will be able to better relate to those suffering from conditions like mine. That I will pay it forward and the world will be a little nicer because I got cancer. Isn't that the way it is suppose to be?

I feel sorry for my husband! I know that having to deal with me being sick and taking care of our adorable and very well behaved (LOL) two year old is wearing on him. That is one reason I am so thankful to be moving home. We will have the support from our families that we need, that HE needs! I never imagined our future together would be disrupted at such an early age by cancer. I didn't ask for this, nor did he! But then again...NOBODY DOES!

I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband that does take care of me, and doesn't get irritated (too bad) when I lay around for days at a time and don't shower when I am not feeling well! When I beg him to rub my feet or just sit with me while I lay on the couch...he does it...and he doesn't complain. I know he is scared (just like me), but he doesn't show it. He is strong. He is our rock! I just wish I could comfort him in knowing that I am going to be around for along time. In fact...I will probably be around so long I will be wiping up his drool when he is 90! (Lets hope...for his sake anyway, because nobody likes to see old people drooling!) I love my husband! I want to give him the life we dreamed of. The family we prayed for. The future we both deserve!

Well...my future is looking better! I have started to feel better. I am still very tired and weak, and almost dizzy at times, but I am functioning as a human again! I was even able to get in the pool last night with Charly and float around! I am looking forward to going back to work tomorrow to see my co-workers! I have missed them. They have really come together for me and been working hard at putting on this great benefit on August 6th in Vienna as well as a Pizza Hut benefit on the 1st of August. I hate those things...I especially hate them when they are for ME. When attention is on me...it makes me very uncomfortable! BUT...BUT, I have stepped back and realized how wonderful they have been and how much they really support me, love me and are encouraging me every step of the way. The money raised from my benefit will go toward my medical bills as well as my future trips to MD Anderson in November. With not working full time, it is such a blessing to have this coming up and to look forward to! I can't wait to see everyone there and really enjoy the evening! What a fun time it will be!

Today was a great day...tomorrow will be even better!

~Please say a prayer for our dear friends the Dall's who have a new baby that is sick in the NICU.

I smiled today when I got an email from a new friend I made from my blog!

I smiled today when dinner was delivered to my house from my dear friend TARA!!! Not only did she make my day, but she also put a smile on Andrew's face for bringing one of his favorite meals!!!

I smiled today when Charly found out that jumping from the coffee table into the couch was fun! I just loved it! (Does that make me a bad mom for not telling her that we don't jump on furniture????)

I smiled today when we were boxing up Charly's room and she found some fun-dip from valentine's day (Thank you BEAU) that we all sat around and tried. She LOVED IT! It was like I was feeding my child crack!

I smiled today when I sold both my patio sets and a recliner...the fewer things I have to move, the better!!!!

I smiled today because I am feeling better!

Thank goodness for tomorrows...

Chemo is horrible. I hate it. I'm glad I only have 7 more treatments to go...it could be worse...I could have 8...or 17...or even worse than that! It literally kicks my arse for a few days. I never know what to expect. Last time I did my treatments it seemed each time was different...a little worse. I started off this round just completely wore out and feeling plain sick. I have spent the last day and a half laying around the house doing absolutely NOTHING! Just to get up from the couch to get something to drink is like climbing a huge mountain. Although it has been a rough day for me, it is now evening, and I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. Remember...Tomorrow will be even better!!!

SHIRT ORDERS...

If you are ordering a T-shirt for my benefit, please get your order into Nicole Massman with your size by email TODAY!!!! If you emailed her work email, you may try submitting another email to her at home (since she is off today)... Her home email is nicolebax@yahoo.com! Shirts are 10.00 and the money can be sent to her home. Ask her for her address. Thank you!!! There will be extra shirts available to purchase at the benefit if you miss out on the chance of ordering one! Thank you again for your support!

T-Shirts...

If you are interested in ordering a t-shirt for my benefit on August 6, 2011, please email Nicole Massman at nicole.bax@doc.mo.gov with your order. The cost of the T-shirts will be 10 dollars!!!! Money can be sent to her address. (Ask her for it in the email and she will gladly supply it to you!) The shirts are going to be cute...you'll love them! If you have any questions you can email me as well at jen_koppen@hotmail.com

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your love, support, prayers, encouragement and friendship! I couldn't do it without you!

Disconnected...and back to normal (for awhile)

Disconnected! You have no idea what a pain in the arse it is to have tubes and a pump connected to you for days. My poor daughter thinks I am covered with "owies". My belly is one big "owie" and now when she sees my port accessed with tubes hanging off of me...she has once again discovered another "owie". I'm just so happy when I get to disconnect. It makes me feel human again! There is a drawback to it though...days 3-5 after I disconnect are pretty rough on me. I'm praying hard that this time around is not as bad. It is almost like my happiness of being disconnected is overtaken by the sadness that comes when I know the inevitable. Soon this will be over for me, and my family, and I will look back on it and be proud that I conquered this. That I did it. And I want each and every one of you to know...everyone that reads my blog and knows my story, that I couldn't do it without the support you show me. I am truly blessed, and each day my eyes are opened to more blessings.
I'm hoping that I will start to feel well enough to start packing by this weekend. I can't believe we are actually moving in 2 weeks. I need to buck up and get busy. It is hard for me to sit around and be "sick" when I know there is so much to do. It will come together and work out...it always does!
Next week I head back to work! I can't wait! I have missed my co-workers immensely. They keep me entertained, they are a part of me! I will miss them greatly. I can't wait to at least get back to some sense of normalcy and be around the people that make me smile, the work that I love and the chaos! :) Life truly is wonderful and I wake up every day thinking just how blessed I am! (chemo and all!) So... if you don't hear from me for a few days...I am probably sick on the couch. Just know that when I recover I will be back on to update!

I smiled today because yesterday the Williams' sent me home with a box of goodies from BK Bakery! I love this family! They have raised my daughter since she was 11 weeks old and have made me look like a fabulous parent :)! They are truly the kindest people you will ever meet!

I smiled today because dear friends of our will welcome their new baby girl into the world! Praise God! Congratulations Winkelbauer Family!!!!

I smiled today because things have just seemed to work out for us. Sometimes out of something so horrible, comes something so great! I can't wait to be home by my family...I miss them, and I need them now more than ever!

I smiled today because I have some of the best co-workers that are working hard to put together a benefit for ME! It amazes me every day the kindness people show! It has truly taught me a lesson.

I smiled today because I disconnected!

I smiled today because for the last 2 days I have chanted over and over in my head at night "kill this cancer please" and today I actually wondered if that would make me a violent person! :) I mean all this thought about killing...then I realized I didn't care... I needed to try whatever I could! KILL THIS CANCER...PLEASE!!!!

I smiled today because I can actually take a shower now that I am disconnected and if I am feeling ok I may get in the pool this evening or by the weekend at least... it is miserably hot, and I only have 2 weeks to enjoy the time we have left with our pool!

I smiled today because I have such wonderful family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, neighbors...you name it! I am beyond blessed! My cup is definitely overflowing!!!!

Today has been a good day...Tomorrow will be even better (hopefully)

Here I go again on my own....

That is right...yesterday I went to the cancer center for the first time by myself to get my first (again) round of chemo. I guess I could say it is my 5th chemo treatment...but who's counting right??? All I know, is that when this one is disconnected on Thursday I have 7 more to go! Yes... I AM COUNTING! It was very lonely sitting there...I got there at 9:15 am and didn't leave till 2:45 pm. What a long day. I was blessed to get a visit from my dear friend Kim who spent time with me talking and bringing me lunch! I also got a visit later in the afternoon from her husband Jon...aka my life saver!!! I love them both!
I have been so blessed since I moved here 7 years ago with the most amazing group of friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. I have met so many wonderful people and hate to leave. In fact... some of my favorite people have put together a benefit for me...here is the information from the flier if anyone is interested:

Benefit For:
Jen Koppen, HSA

Where: Vienna-Bassett Eagles in Vienna, Mo
From Jefferson City take US-50 E/US-63 S towards Linn. Merge onto US-63 S via the ramp to Rolla. Continue On US-63 through Westphalia and Freeburg. Turn Right on Hwy 42 in Vienna. Turn Left onto Hwy V. Vienna-Bassett Eagles will be on the Left.
When: Saturday, August 6th, 2011
Time: 5:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Jen Koppen, HSA at Algoa Correctional Center, was recently diagnosed with Colon Cancer. Jen and her husband Andrew are the proud parents of a beautiful 2 year old daughter named Charly. Due to Jen’s Chemotherapy treatments she is unable to continue full time employment.
Please come out and enjoy a good meal, a good time, and to support a good cause. Various items will be auctioned off throughout the evening and a percentage of all meals sold will be going towards Jen’s Fight. We will also be selling 50/50 tickets. To purchase these please contact Cassandra Bullock or Nicole Massman at (573) 751-3911 ext. 636 or 633. If you are unable to attend and would like to make a donation please send donations to:
Hawthorne Bank
800 Eastland Dr.
Jefferson City, Mo 65101
Attn: Jen Koppen Benefit Account
Thank You in advance for all of your contributions and support.

Although that is a chemo week for me... I am bound and determined to at least stop by for awhile! I would love to see everyone there and of course I will bring my beautiful 2 year old daughter Charly! I have to show her off whenever I get the chance!

So chemo day number 1 was good...now I'm on to chemo day number 2...already taken my zofran (for nauseau) and my steroids (for causing me to get fat)....the steroids were added to my chemo treatment and hope to help with the side effects, since I tend to get EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! Also my chemo regimne is a decreased dose, so hopefully that helps.

I looked at my calendar today (yes I am a planner) and saw that yesterday would have been my 12th chemo treatment, indicating the full 6 months would have been completed this week (minus my second surgery)...so I would have been DONE this week! The only thing that came to mind, was DAMN! That cancer just kicked me in the gut...but that is ok... I'm fighting back...I'm stronger than that! Plus... I needed a reason to go to Texas and enjoy the beach!!!! November can't come soon enough!!!

Round 2...

Well...I'm home! Settled in again. The trip was amazing! We stayed in a beautiful home (Thank you Christine and Jin), got to drive around the largest city ever...HOUSTON IS HUGE, and explore parts of the city I'm sure we would have never seen (that is how I describe our "lost" moments)!!! The trip was a success! M.D. Anderson truly is the best place to go for cancer treatment/options. I was in awe of the magnitude of the place, the kindness of the people...everything! We even got to enjoy some time on the beach and exploring Galveston! What a great place. I'm lucky I have a reason to go back! That is right...I already have my appointment in November (10th and 11th) for a follow up. I'm looking forward to getting my treatment started and over with to find out what they discover at that appointment...which is hopefully NOTHING! :)
Tomorrow I start the chemo again. Dr. R will see me in the morning. I will once again be lugging around a pump for 2 days every other week. I just pray (and ask everyone to pray) that my blood counts stay high enough for me to continue my treatments and that I don't encounter anything in the way that would postpone it. I just want it over. Although I do not want to go back on the chemo that basically almost killed me last time, I know that I need it, and I know that it is doing something if it is making me feel so bad! I just need it to kill the cancer before it kills me! :)
So...this leads me to my big news! About 3 weeks after I was home from the hospital, I told Andrew that I wanted to move home. I felt that it was time to be closer to our families. It took him about 2 seconds to agree and the decision was made! We went out to buy a sign Sunday morning to put in our front yard (FOR SALE BY OWNER), thinking it would take months. By Tuesday, our house was sold! While we were home the following weekend for the 4th of July holiday, we drove around town looking at homes for sale. The only one we agreed on, the one that is on the same street as my brother's and about a mile from my parents, was it! We called the realtor, and about 2 hours before we were leaving to head back to Jefferson City, we went and looked at the place. It was perfect. The only bad thing was that it had an investor that had put in an offer on the home. The home was only on the market a few days! Well, we actually ended up knowing the realtor, and one thing led to another, and by the following Tuesday...our offer was put in on the home and it was accepted! Things were moving along at an alarming speed. People just don't sell their home in 2 days...and then find the house that is just perfect for them the very next weekend...and GET IT! God is on our side! So...yes... we are moving. We close on both homes on August 4th.
Our plan...Andrew is still looking for a job and really wants to find a Government job, to keep our insurance the same (mostly)...so until he gets something, he will be in Jefferson City during the week and home on the weekends. Because I am going back on the chemo, and it makes me feel so crappy most of the time, will find a hard time finding a full time job right away. I am planning on staying in my position on a PRN basis every other week and coming back to Jefferson City with Andrew for those weeks that I am off chemo, then the week that I am on chemo I will be home, close to family, with my baby. While all three of us will be here every other week, a friend of Andrew's and dear friends of ours have offered for us to stay with them. We have also flirted with the idea of renting an appartment. We'll figure that out as we go...
Life for us has just completely changed! As I have said before...cancer has been somewhat of a blessing for me. It gave us the push to move back, closer to our family! The jobs will come! :) (but if anyone knows of any available jobs in the Kansas City/Leavenworth area...please do share!!!)
I do hate to leave my job. Today I told my boss and just bawled like a baby! I love what I do, I love the people I work with, and I hate that this has been forced on me. I also know that things happen for a reason, and I look forward to what the next chapter of my life holds. I am blessed that my company has been so great to me and that my bosses and friends have been so understanding. Thank you GOD!

Please say a prayer for me tomorrow, as I begin my chemo treatments again. I need to kill this crap and be on with my life. I have a baby that needs her mommy healthy!

we're off...

well...the end of my adventure is near!! much of my trip went better than expected, and then some things did not go as planed! (one of which was my blog posting and picture taking! this post is being created on my blackberry...hence all the lower case letters (and probably spelling errors), so i appologize now! currently i am sitting at the airport with my mom..."aka travel buddy"...waiting to head back to kansas city! it will be so good to be home!!! i miss my family soooo much!!! i am a homebody! so...this morning started out early with a follow-up doctors appointment! even before i got back to see him, i was causing problems!!! my temperature was 99.3! normally not a big deal, and i blame most of that on the sunburn i got at the beach the day before, but in a cancer center... 99.3 can be a big deal! so...after they decided i was gonna live...i got back to see my doctor! he is very nice and very straight forward...i need that! my scans came back ok! no sign of metastasis to any other organs, but i did have a few enlarged lymph nodes they will keep an eye on! my cancer lab levels came back low, which is good!!! my followup is for four months, after my treatment is over! at that appointment we will do more scans to compare, more labs, meet with a geneticist to determine my need for a hysterectomy and consult with the surgical department on whether or not to go back in and do more surgery!!! i am not a fan of that!!! i do feel like i made a great decision to come here and will be in great hands!!! i am sorry for the lack of posts and absence of photos!!! it didn't help to drop the camera in the gulf! life goes on!

Houston...we have a problem!

Today was the day! We woke up early to head out the door early enough to navigate this horrendous Houston traffic! We got to the cancer center in plenty of time to figure out where we were going!!! IT IS HUGE!!! The people are so wonderful there and the place just operates like a well oiled machine! I was out by 11 a.m.! The outcome was not what I wanted to hear, but it was exactly what I needed! Dr. Kee gave it to me straight... my cancer was staged at a 3 due to the spread of it to the lymph node, and because of that I will start chemo (as soon as possible) for the next 4 months! The fight is ON!!!!! I had a great day that ended around 9 pm with a CT scan...oral,IV, and RECTAL!!!! What a great end to the day!!! :) Unfortunately, I haven't had time to take pictures yet, and really I did not feel the urge to do it...the place is surrounded by very very sick people!!! I am blessed to be so healthy!!! I left the place in tears....it is such a sad place...but also a hopeful one!!! I look forward to my follow-up on Friday!! Tomorrow is our free day...we will be headed to the ocean!! Definitely pictures will be taken!!!

The adventure begins...

Tomorrow morning bright and early, my mom and I will head to the airport to board a plane headed for Houston! I am terrified! I have no idea what they will find or what will be the outcome! I hope for the best...but have to expect the worst! I mean...I never would have imagined I would be in this situation...life is funny that way! The worst part about this trip, is my time away from my husband and ESPECIALLY my baby! I will die without her!!! :( Plus i have NO idea how long I will be away!!! Our return flight, is booked for a week away...lets hope we are able to get down there, get our business taken care of quickly and figure out the BEST way to eliminate this crap all together...and then get on the earliest flight home!!! I am going into this determined to finish this fight! Now, the best part about this trip...is that I am going with my mom!!! I am telling you...I have an amazing mom! She has been by my side since this fight began...and I am thankful for her!!! Please say a prayer for us!!!!

BLESSINGS...

Having cancer has really turned out to be a blessing for me! Yes...you read that correct! I have had my eyes opened and have seen all the blessings that have surrounded me (now and in the past!). Especially now I see how blessed my life is. I was definitely blessed to get my baby...and the way it happened was just amazing! Everything fell into place...and when that happens...it is right! That is what is happening now!
Things are going my way. Karma is on my side! God is shining some serious light down on me!
My mom and I are leaving soon for Houston. This is going to be a long trip...driving! YUCK! She looked into her credit card points yesterday and has enough for a plane ticket and rental car for a week...that means we only need to buy one ticket! PURE BLESSING! #1: we won't have to drive. #2: 1 ticket is cheaper than 2. #3: free rental car....awesome!
So...that leaves me with a place to stay...and just 2 days ago we were hooked up with one of my friends' daughter who lives in Houston! And....she offered us her place to use as our "hotel". It was even more amazing to find out that she lives in a gated community on a lake, that her husband is a doctor, her housekeeper will let us in (OMG!!!!), and that her neighbor was a former M.D. Anderson patient who will show us the ropes and help us navigate around while we are there. HOW AMAZING IS ALL THIS! HOW BLESSED AM I???? Thank you GOD!!!
Things are going so well for me. I have big, BIG news that I will reveal soon...but until then, please continue to pray for me, my family, our travels, Andrew while he is at home all week with Charly, and that the outcome of this trip is a good one! I am hoping for nothing but great news! I need to keep this winning streak going! :) Your prayers are working...He is listening!
Enjoy your weekend! Spend time laughing, smiling, loving...and enjoying life! RELAX...we only have today! We only have NOW! Soak it in!!!

I smiled today because we are off to a birthday party...and Charly LOVES birthday parties!!!

I smiled today because we had doughnuts with sprinkles on them...and Charly LOVES doughnuts with sprinkles on them!

I smiled today because my daughter is completely spoiled...I live to make her life the best it can be...and every day to her is full of fun, excitement, adventure and smiles...I couldn't ask for anything more! (except maybe some potty training!!!)

I smiled today (and every day) because my husband is my best friend and I love him more than he will ever know!

I smiled today because the sun is shining and it is beautiful outside!

Today is a great day...I look forward to what tomorrow brings...

still have it...

It has been awhile. Things are going well. I still have cancer, but...feeling much better! I am loving life without my colostomy bag...who knew that could be possible! :)
My family spent the fourth of July at home, surrounded by family and friends and good times. We did have a ball, especially my daughter, who basically thinks she runs the place, and loves the fact that she is surrounded by boys! (I think I am going to be in big trouble!)


Sunday before we headed home, we had appointments to get tattoos (which I had to cancel out of). Yes, I am addicted at the present time to some ink...but I resisted. I had a more pressing issue to attend to, and therefore had to opt out of the ink. I wish I had a picture of the tattoos my brother and sister-in-law both got...they are awesome! More importantly, it represents their support of me! ME! It feels amazing to have so many people care...and STILL CARE!
I also got to meet with a friend for lunch, who brought me a bag of goodies last week from another friend. To my surprise, I opened the Relay for Life bag that had magnets with supportive sayings on them that she made, a poem book with some amazing encouraging poems, and a purple (Relay for Life color) crown for my princess...or queen??? Thank you Robyn...that was such a nice surprise...now I'm waiting to see pictures of YOUR tattoo! (just kidding)
Life is great!
I am ready to go back to work! I feel the need...I am ready...but I can't just yet.
I am heading to KC this weekend to meet up with my mom who will be accompanying me to M.D. Anderson! We are going to have a ball (unless they tell me something I don't want to hear!). We will be busy doing medical things (yuck) and spending time at a hospital (double yuck), but in our free time...this group of gals is going to head to the ocean! I can't wait. I will definitely take tons of pictures to post. (I know how much you all love the pictures...and don't worry...I won't post any of me laying out on the beach in my bikini!!! )
Please keep your prayers up for my mom and myself as we will be traveling and finding out my options on this cancer stuff. Did I mention I hate cancer!!! I really do...with a passion. It just friggen sucks.
Smile today...life is short...soak it all up! ENJOY IT!!!! (even if you have cancer, or a colostomy bag)