Disconnected! You have no idea what a pain in the arse it is to have tubes and a pump connected to you for days. My poor daughter thinks I am covered with "owies". My belly is one big "owie" and now when she sees my port accessed with tubes hanging off of me...she has once again discovered another "owie". I'm just so happy when I get to disconnect. It makes me feel human again! There is a drawback to it though...days 3-5 after I disconnect are pretty rough on me. I'm praying hard that this time around is not as bad. It is almost like my happiness of being disconnected is overtaken by the sadness that comes when I know the inevitable. Soon this will be over for me, and my family, and I will look back on it and be proud that I conquered this. That I did it. And I want each and every one of you to know...everyone that reads my blog and knows my story, that I couldn't do it without the support you show me. I am truly blessed, and each day my eyes are opened to more blessings.
I'm hoping that I will start to feel well enough to start packing by this weekend. I can't believe we are actually moving in 2 weeks. I need to buck up and get busy. It is hard for me to sit around and be "sick" when I know there is so much to do. It will come together and work out...it always does!
Next week I head back to work! I can't wait! I have missed my co-workers immensely. They keep me entertained, they are a part of me! I will miss them greatly. I can't wait to at least get back to some sense of normalcy and be around the people that make me smile, the work that I love and the chaos! :) Life truly is wonderful and I wake up every day thinking just how blessed I am! (chemo and all!) So... if you don't hear from me for a few days...I am probably sick on the couch. Just know that when I recover I will be back on to update!
I smiled today because yesterday the Williams' sent me home with a box of goodies from BK Bakery! I love this family! They have raised my daughter since she was 11 weeks old and have made me look like a fabulous parent :)! They are truly the kindest people you will ever meet!
I smiled today because dear friends of our will welcome their new baby girl into the world! Praise God! Congratulations Winkelbauer Family!!!!
I smiled today because things have just seemed to work out for us. Sometimes out of something so horrible, comes something so great! I can't wait to be home by my family...I miss them, and I need them now more than ever!
I smiled today because I have some of the best co-workers that are working hard to put together a benefit for ME! It amazes me every day the kindness people show! It has truly taught me a lesson.
I smiled today because I disconnected!
I smiled today because for the last 2 days I have chanted over and over in my head at night "kill this cancer please" and today I actually wondered if that would make me a violent person! :) I mean all this thought about killing...then I realized I didn't care... I needed to try whatever I could! KILL THIS CANCER...PLEASE!!!!
I smiled today because I can actually take a shower now that I am disconnected and if I am feeling ok I may get in the pool this evening or by the weekend at least... it is miserably hot, and I only have 2 weeks to enjoy the time we have left with our pool!
I smiled today because I have such wonderful family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, neighbors...you name it! I am beyond blessed! My cup is definitely overflowing!!!!
Today has been a good day...Tomorrow will be even better (hopefully)
No comments:
Post a Comment