It has been 3 weeks since my surgery. I had never had surgery before. I have taken care of patients that had surgery...and now I understand. I understand how they felt when someone walked in the room to try to help them, but they were scared to be touched...it hurt. I understand how scared they were. I understand how they felt when they were tired. I understand how they felt when they wanted to give up. I understand how they felt when something so simple has now become so hard. I understand how the one thing you want is something so simple. I understand how it is to get devastating news. I understand them. I am a patient.
It has been 3 weeks since my surgery. I have never been a performer in a circus, but I understand how they feel. I am a circus freak. I know what it feels like to have people stare. I look normal, but under it all, it is very much a disaster. I have walked into rooms and people have wanted to see things, to touch things, to tell me about things they have no idea. I understand what it feels like to be the freak. I am a circus freak.
It has been 3 weeks since my surgery. Life is harder. I have learned lessons. Hard lessons. I think about things differently now. It is sad that it has taken something so terrible to soften my heart. To understand things more clearly. To forgive people that don't know. I didn't know... I do now!
Today was a good day, but tomorrow will be even better.
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